Inbox for sticksandbones

[lupusxylem]

I will not make this look pretty later, don't believe me it's all a lie

====

INVENTORY:

-The Punisher: Wolfwood's cross gun, normally covered in wrappings.
INFO from the mods on use so I don't forget: The cross-gun will be able to fire regular bullets (regains of these can be handwaved; silvered bullets can be purchased in the bonus AC store) just fine, without any special nerfs. The laser feature will be usable a max of 3 times a month.

-4 Vials of his Drugs(tm)
Info from the mods on use so I don't forget: Wolfwood can start with up to 5 vials of his Lab Drugs. More of these can be regained for the price of a Small Item (a maximum of 5 at once), but they will not work on other player characters for obvious reasons. Their healing ability will also be slightly nerfed to not heal anything instantaneously, but rather over a few minutes.
3/7: All Vials have been used. Will need to purchase replacements if he wants to use them again.
???: Forgot to put the date here but he's purchased more Vials, one has been used to he has 4 currently.

-A lighter

-A carton of cigarettes, more can be purchased/handwaved

-A winter coat that Heimr bullied him into purchasing

-A matching pair of boots for the coat

-A little knit wolf with sunglasses from Elsword.

-A blanket from Livio.

-A handgun with a wolf engraved on the handle.

-A black husky named Angelina

-A belt pouch to carry his regeneration vials with a cross emblazoned into the leather.

-Authentic rosary beads, with beads made from black glass and a heavy, silver cross pendant

-A black leather choker with a silver cross pendant, similar to the rosary

-A whole church(tm)

-A wool knit cat plushie from Pure Vanilla

-3 tomas chicks that currently live in Kiera's barn

-3 londonites

-Wolf skull shaped cufflinks

-A dagger for his "birthday" from Gnosis

Comments

[oleaeuropaea]

Sometimes.

[It feels wrong to be having this conversation at this angle. It's the last thing he wants to do, but if he's going to let Wolfwood down, he at least wants to be as gentle as possible about it. That means being on his level, so he isn't it doesn't feel like he's talking down to the other man.

He folds himself up, sitting even with the Punisher, albeit facing the other way. He's still close enough, and angled just right that he can see Wolfwood's face, and vice versa. It's a little more intimate, and thus will be all the more vulnerable. He doesn't want to see what comes next, but he's almost certain this will make it easier to swallow.

Not that he starts speaking. He bunches some of the snow within his palm, creating a ball that he tosses up, then lets fall back to the ground.]

It's sweet. Really. But you don't need to go putting all of that energy into caring about me. You've seen what happens to folks that get close to me. Towns get destroyed. Families get ripped apart. And if they're real unlucky, I break every promise I ever make to 'em.

[lupusxylem]

[Well. Here Vash is, in his space, and for some reason Wolfwood doesn't have the good sense to move away before this gets out of hand. And as Vash sits there, what he tells him is...basically exactly what he thought he'd say. Don't care about me. Don't get close to me. He's a bad omen, an unlucky charm, a harbinger of destruction.

And if Wolfwood weren't completely spent by the day, he'd probably punch him in his stupid mouth.

Instead, he laughs. It's a low, hollow, slightly damp sound.]

...s'a little too late for that. Don'tcha think.

[oleaeuropaea]

It's not.

[It'll never be too late, so long as Vash breathes. So long as Wolfwood still breathes. He can make the right choice at any moment and walk away. In fact, Vash wants to beg him to do just that. He's lost so many people he's ever come close to caring about. He can't swallow the idea of it happening to Wolfwood as well.]

You can get up right now, Wolfwood. You can walk away, and tell me to never talk to you again. And I'd listen, too. Because — [He shakes his head, practically whipping it back and forth.] Good things don't happen where the Humanoid Typhoon is concerned.

[This time, it's Vash's turn to pull his knees up to his chest. He presses his cheek to a kneecap, hard enough that it makes him ache.]

Please. I don't want to hurt you.

[It isn't so abstract as Wolfwood might think. He isn't just referring to some vague inevitability. If he doesn't listen, Vash will have no choice to take matters into his own hands. And that would hurt them both far worse.]

[lupusxylem]

[So it's up to Wolfwood to make that choice. The onus is on him, because anyone with eyes could see that if Vash believed a word that came out of his own mouth, he'd have isolated himself from everyone in this damn village already for their own safety. And for a moment, Wolfwood bites the inside of his cheek to keep himself from saying something incendiary and unhelpful. It isn't until he starts to taste copper that he has to stop, his shoulders hunching as he lets out another heavy breath. The snow is falling steadily around them as they sit together in the snow, a light dusting having already covered both Wolfwood's hair and stupid new jacket.

He actually turns his head to look at Vash now, his eyes glittering with frustration.]

Look at where we are, Vash.

[Not blondie. Not needle-noggin.]

This ain't No Man's Land. The desert ain't here. The Eye ain't here. [Oops that slipped but he's not stopping] Knives ain't here.

And wherever this place is on the god damn map, you aren't the Humanoid Typhoon to it or the people here. Neither of us probably fucking matter compared to whatever god has this town under its thumb.

You're...just Vash. You're fucking Vash.

[oleaeuropaea]

It doesn't matter where I am, Wolfwood! [There's a wavering note in his voice, one steeped in grief. He's never dealt with his problems as he should have. Instead of confronting the trauma he'd suffered, he'd run from it just as he had everything else.] The second we got here, I got you hurt. We both could have died out there, and it's because I -

[He tears off, turning his face so that it's now his forehead pressed against his knees. His fingers clench hard against the fabric near his calves, tight enough that he worries he might tear through. That would just be his luck.]

I'm Vash the Stampede. And it doesn't matter where I am or who I'm with - people get hurt.

[Finally, his head lifts, and this time he fixes Wolfwood with a desperate gaze. His eyes shimmer with tears he won't ever let himself shed, tears that are promptly blinked away before they come to fruition.]

So please, don't make me do this. Please.

[His voice cracks at the end.]

[lupusxylem]

Yeah, because you want me to do it. Right?

[Then he grabs Vash by the shoulder, gripping him hard because he's realizing he can't just sit here anymore and do nothing.]

Right!?

[His breaths come heavy between them, filling the air with cold steam instead of the usual smoke they're used to. It's basically nighttime now, but with how heavy the snow is on the ground, the darkness doesn't really detract from their conversation at all. Wolfwood can, unfortunately, see Vash's tears. He can see the grief etched into his features.

Yet, his hand still fists the material of his jacket as his voice raises an octave.]

You want me to walk away, because you can't stand the idea of doing it yourself. Cause even if I cut you off like a tumor, if something happened to me? Out there?? [He lets Vash go, throwing his hand out towards the woods.] You'd still come after me, and you know you would. Because you can't do anything else.

[Vash was the one who sat with him through that bad trip. He carried him to his own bed, and let him stay there even when Wolfwood effectively kicked him out.]

And you're....a god damn idiot, if you think I'm going to let you push me to do something you don't have the balls to. Because if I wanted to leave? I would have. I WOULD have left into those woods and you would have never fucking seen me again.

[They're lucky they're alone out here, because Wolfwood's voice is booming in the silent air. Only once he's said his peace does it lower, his brows knitted tight.]

If you want to push me away, you're going to have to do it yourself.

["I'm not breaking up with you you're breaking up with me-"]

[oleaeuropaea]

[Wolfwood pulls him in, and Vash does his best to reel away. He can't get far with the fist balled against his shoulder, but he can at least angle his face away. He knows he's already been caught, that Wolfwood has seen the agony etched into his face. But at least if he keeps his cocked to the side, as long as he glares daggers into a tree, it'll be okay.]

Please -

[He doesn't know how to make him understand. It might not look it, but Wolfwood has a future. He has love in his heart, even if he buries it. He has compassion for other people, even if coated it with barbed insults. He's a good man that will never see his potential.

He tries to back away, but his feet only slide in the snow. His body not strong enough to wrench free of that grip, not at this angle. And so with no other choice, the last bits of his facade crack. His face crumbles, and this time one stray tear makes it down his cheek before he can catch it. He bows his head before Wolfwood can see anymore.

When he speaks, his voice is barely more than a whisper. It's almost impossible to hear over the wind and falling snow.]

I don't want to watch you die, Nick.

[lupusxylem]

[It's truly something that they aren't going to see eye-to-eye on, clearly. Vash seems convinced that Wolfwood is going to die if he stays anywhere near him, be it by his own hand or by proxy, despite knowing good and well that he chose to go into those woods just as much as Vash chose to come with him. If anything, Vash's presence there was coincidental, at best. Wolfwood could also just as easily choke on breakfast or drown in the river, and it wouldn't be Vash's doing.

Vash is crying now, even if he's trying to hide his face, and that is at least enough to get Wolfwood to back off slightly. He's not leaving, god no, but he's also not right up in Vash's face like he was a few seconds prior. He's panting like a racehorse though, the wind whipping his hair back from his face as he glares back at Vash, because it's so frustrating.

So fucking frustrating.]

My answer is no. I don't care what you say.

[It makes him wonder. Can Vash make that choice for him.

Is that what he really wants?]

I'm not. Going. Anywhere.

1/2

[oleaeuropaea]

[Guilt pounds through Vash with every beat of his heart. He's seen Wolfwood lose his composure so little that it feels wrong to witness it now. It's made all the worse by the fact that he knows he's caused this. It's what he means by the damage that follows in his wake, and no he doesn't stop to consider the irony of it all.

He has to do this, though. If he really cares for Wolfwood, if he's ever meant any of his promises to protect people, then he has to sever this connection before it goes too far.

Gradually, his head angles back toward Wolfwood. He meet's the mans eyes, hoping that his face doesn't show any of the conflict still rattling through his head. He sets his brow, presses his mouth into a thin line, and does his best to blink away the tears.

It'll be over soon. He'll make it quick.]

2/2

[oleaeuropaea]

I don't - [He starts off firmly, but the words fall out from under him even as he speaks. The composure that had only just been gathered begins to slip through his fingers.] I don't want to -

[Another pause. He grits his teeth, curls his fingers into his palms. He tries to force the words out and be done.

Instead, that thinly put together mask cracks once more. This time, his head falls forward, and his hair flops into his face.]

I can't.

[lupusxylem]

[As Vash turns towards him and begins to speak, Wolfwood is initially pretty cocksure in the idea that he's not going to actually do anything here. He's all bark, no bite, insisting that Wolfwood be the one to sever ties because he knows he can't. It's why he dropped the whole ordeal into the Punisher's lap, hoping he would be angry enough, or emotional enough, to do the pushing away for him. But now that Wolfwood has made it clear he won't...

He waits, not realizing that he'd stopped breathing. And as the words start to pass Vash's lips, he feels his heart actually rise to settle at the base of his throat, pounding so hard that he can't even hear the rush of wind past his ears anymore. It's one of those moments, where you realize that what you thought you needed wasn't what you actually wanted. And now that there's a very real chance Vash is still going to make the choice Wolfwood refused to, he's afraid of what the future may look like when it happens.

For a moment, he's afraid. He's hurt.

...but then the other shoe drops, and the answer is simply: I can't.

Wolfwood feels the corners of his lips twitch beyond his control. His eyes have been open wide this entire time, aching from the bitter cold wind blasting into them, and even now he doesn't dare blink for fear of what might happen if he does. But, unfortunately for Wolfwood, the dam can hold back only so much.

A tear of his own rushes unbidden down the side of his face, and he's quick to hide it by crashing his weight into Vash's side, like he might have if he were still high off his ass. Only this time it's done on purpose, his head dropping onto Vash's shoulder. He inhales on a shuddering breath that sounds painful, his head turned with his face out towards the unforgiving woods.

His voice is muffled and harsh.]

Fuck you. Fuck you.

[oleaeuropaea]

[The cliff they'd been standing on gives way. Both of them fall into the abyss. Vash doesn't know what's waiting below. All he knows is that right now, he'll cling onto Wolfwood for dear life in the hopes that one of them makes it through.

That need is perhaps slightly less metaphorical than Vash initially thought, however. As Wolfwood collapses against him, Vash can only lift a hand to his back. There's a tremble there that he might feel in the seconds it takes to fully flatten his palm against the man's back. Gingerly, he rubs a reassuring circle into the fabric there.]

I know. I'm a real asshole, huh? [He tries his best to sound humorous, but more than anything, he's just wrung out. He knows Wolfwood is too.] I'm sorry, really.

[His will to fight quickly diminishes, blown away on the cold wind. The lingering embers are extinguished, leaving him to feel the brunt of the cold. Instinctively, he curls close to Wolfwood, hoping to soak up some of the warmth.]

[lupusxylem]

You should be, you dick.

[Wolfwood's voice is still muffled by Vash's jacket, partly stolen away by the wind. But now...the energy between them has definitely shifted, even if just subtly so. Vash puts a hand against his back in a way that he's sober enough to actually comprehend, and...Wolfwood doesn't pull away. In fact, he just curls up closer to Vash, allowing him to keep that hand right where it is.

Instead of just letting those harsh words linger in the air, Wolfwood speaks up again, after a moment of hesitation.]

I'm. ...sorry too. For before.

[He'd bitten Vash's head off for no reason, back at the Inn. Sure, he was still definitely uncomfortably high and fighting off feeling like he'd been going insane for the better part of many hours, but it didn't warrant lashing out when Vash was simply trying to help and figure out what was wrong. Well, now he knows.

And somehow, that's landed them here, shivering in the snow like a couple of idiot penguins.]

[oleaeuropaea]

[If Wolfwood had left it at that, there wouldn't have been a complaint. Vash has earned it, jerking him around as he had. He even lets out a puff of laughter in response. It isn't his full-bodied, joyous laugh, but clearly he isn't bothered by the accusations. He also doesn't seem troubled by how close Wolfwood seems to curl to him. In fact, he reciprocates the effort, even managing to drape part of his coat over the other man.]

I forgive you. [There's no hesitation when he speaks, which is surely unsurprising at this point. Close as they are now, Vash doesn't need to speak up. His voice is barely a whisper, a secret to be held between the two of them.]

But... if you really wanna make it up to me, maybe we can head inside? [They've already had to be dragged out of the woods once. It'd be even worse if they had to be saved yet again, this time from their own stupid selves and the emotions they're incapable of speaking aloud.]

[lupusxylem]

[Maybe that's the only reason Wolfwood is behaving the way he is right now. The closeness, the willingness to actually offer Vash an apology. Nobody else can hear or see them, and thus his reputation remains intact. Well, what little of it he has, since he's still only spoken to a handful of people here (and most of them he's been just. himself towards, so).

When Vash suggests maybe they get out of the snow, Wolfwood lifts his head. It causes a soft cascade of built-up snow on his head to come falling off, indicating just how long they've actually been sitting here. He huffs, lifting a hand to dust the flakes out of his hair as he sits back so that he's no longer leaning so much against Vash. He...hadn't realized just how close they were.]

Yeah...okay.

[He needs to bring his gun back inside anyway, before all of moisture seeping through the cloth rusts it to pieces. He's pretty sure if something happens to the Punisher he might just kill someone for real-

Wolfwood gets up with some difficulty, his stupid shoes sliding across the slick ground. He braces himself against his gun before hefting it up out of the snow, quickly scrubbing the edge of his face against his shoulder while Vash (maybe) isn't looking.]

Got dark fast.

[oleaeuropaea]

[Somehow, Vash manages to climb to his feet. Or rather, he rolls backward, flat into the snow, and then rocks forward to leap up. He makes it look effortless, even if he does skid a bit in the snow. Despite the effortless way he rises up, he still has the kindness to keep his arm extended, helping leverage Wolfwood as he stands as well.

(He does glance away as Wolfwood rubs away the absolutely, totally non-existent tears on his face. He didn't see anything).]

It did. Can barely see you out there. Where'd you go anyway! [He pantomimes flailing about blindly, before shoving his hands back in his pockets. Better that he does, lest he take a damn eye out.]

You wanna grab something from the kitchen to help warm up? Or do you want me to get out of your hair?

[lupusxylem]

[Wolfwood, still dusting snow from his shoulders, flatly states:]

Ain't eaten since the brownies.

[Which is to say: he should probably eat something??? How did he even make it outside without keeling over is a better question.]

[oleaeuropaea]

Wolfwood!! [His voice cracks, which is a whole humilating can of worms but. Whatever.

Sorry, buddy, he's grabbing you by the wrist and dragging you back inside.]

We're eating something, now. I can cook fried rice and eggs and. Uh. Probably more fried rice. What'll it be.

[lupusxylem]

Wh- Oi-

[Wolfwood starts to grumble as Vash very unceremoniously grabs him by the wrist and begins to drag, but at this point he is so wrung out that he doesn't have it in him to protest much more beyond verbally. He's tired, he feels like he's been hit by several cars, let him burrow into the snow and die already-

He breathes a sigh and sort of stumbles into step as Vash's side, fiddling with the edge of his jacket now that he's out of cigarettes.]

Don't matter, as long as it's edible.

[He did not know you could even cook, Vash. Well, things that aren't toast, anyway.]

[oleaeuropaea]

[By and large, Vash can't cook. He is a disaster in the kitchen when it comes to anything more than the basics. Nevertheless, he managed to catch lightning in a bottle with the few recipes he's come to master. Maybe if things go well, he'll make sausage link pasta for Wolfwood.]

Alright. Fried rice it is.

[Vash does not stop marching until they're inside and settled in the kitchen. He peels off his jacket and hangs it off to the side, not wanting to drag his sleeves through whatever mess he's about to make. Then he ambles off to start rifling through the available ingredients.]

You can get comfortable. You've had a long day!

[lupusxylem]

[Back inside from the cold, back in the warmth of the inn, it really hits Wolfwood just how exhausted he is. His limbs tremble as he walks inside, though that's something easy enough to mask by staying one step behind Vash as he goes straight for the kitchen, giving Wolfwood the opportunity to collapse somewhere in the lobby. It's late, so there's nobody else in here...that, and a lot of the residents live elsewhere than the Inn, it seems. All the better for him, someone who very much isn't interested in socializing right now.

He sits back against the couch cushions, reaching into his blazer pocket to pull out the last three vials he has. The fact he's gone through two in such a short amount of time is both concerning and tracks for how he handles things, but still...he grimaces and puts them away. Maybe, if he's lucky, he'll get away with not having to use these again for a long time.

Or, he'll receive injuries so grievous he blows them all at once, and then is left with nothing. Equally likely.

Anyway. He props his feet up on the table, like an asshole.]

Just don't set shit on fire. I don't want to have to put you out on top of everything else.

[oleaeuropaea]

[Vash pops his head out of the kitchen. There's a brief pause as he glances over Wolfwood (mostly) approvingly. There is a bit of a side-eye at Wolfwood dirtying up the table, mostly out of consideration for whoever has to clean this place. He's spared from a scolding by the simple fact that Vash has already put him through enough this evening.]

Heh. No promises!

[His voice is a chirp as he ducks back into the kitchen. Clattering follows, along with some muttering on Vash's part. A few pans try to fall onto the floor. He breaks an egg in his hand, and some of the rice that he flips goes flying straight onto the burner. The smoke smell only lasts for a few seconds, at least.

All told, it takes a little more than a half an hour for Vash to prep their meal. Part of him feels guilty for keeping Wolfwood waiting. The other part hopes he's gotten a little more rest in. But either way, he comes out with two bowls in hand, utensils included.]

Soup's on. I mean, I guess rice is on, but -

[lupusxylem]

[Wolfwood waits because really, how can he complain about being cooked for? After all the shit he’s said and done today, and here Vash is going out of his way to feed him when he wouldn’t be blamed for kicking his ass into the snow and telling him to go forage if he wants a meal.

Yet here he is instead, being presented with a bowl of fried rice that might be slightly burnt in places but, honestly?

Wolfwood is so hungry he doesn’t care. He starts to eat pretty much immediately because he hadn’t realized just HOW hungry he was until the food was placed in front of him. Never mind that weed gives you the munchies and he was not feeding that urge-

It’s hot, and it’s burning his mouth, but he doesn’t care. He just huffs something that might be a laugh under his breath. An amused sound, if nothing else.]

…not bad, needle-noggin.

[oleaeuropaea]

Yeah?

[It's almost alarming, the way warmth floods his body. The thing is, Wolfwood has been so sparse with his praise for him that Vash almost doesn't know what to do with it. There's a little thrill that runs through him, running from the tips of his fingers to the tops of his ears. A grin settles on his lips, smaller and warmer than any of the false smiles he usually offers.

His chin tucks down as he plops onto the couch. He holds his bowl close and takes a few bites, then closes his eyes. He pretends he's savoring the flavor, when really he's just hanging onto the moment.]

I'm glad. Really, really glad.

[lupusxylem]

[Wolfwood certainly makes it difficult, for Vash. Even just a small compliment or praise is enough to elicit a strong response, simply because it's so rare. And really, it's hard for Wolfwood not to notice, given the way he sneaks a glance up at Vash as he sits down.

Ugh. Vash...isn't the only one who feels a sudden warmth, however brief. He's just trying his damnest to ignore it as he continues to simply eat in silence, for a while.]

Yeah. I didn't know you could cook.