Inbox for sticksandbones

[lupusxylem]

I will not make this look pretty later, don't believe me it's all a lie

====

INVENTORY:

-The Punisher: Wolfwood's cross gun, normally covered in wrappings.
INFO from the mods on use so I don't forget: The cross-gun will be able to fire regular bullets (regains of these can be handwaved; silvered bullets can be purchased in the bonus AC store) just fine, without any special nerfs. The laser feature will be usable a max of 3 times a month.

-4 Vials of his Drugs(tm)
Info from the mods on use so I don't forget: Wolfwood can start with up to 5 vials of his Lab Drugs. More of these can be regained for the price of a Small Item (a maximum of 5 at once), but they will not work on other player characters for obvious reasons. Their healing ability will also be slightly nerfed to not heal anything instantaneously, but rather over a few minutes.
3/7: All Vials have been used. Will need to purchase replacements if he wants to use them again.
???: Forgot to put the date here but he's purchased more Vials, one has been used to he has 4 currently.

-A lighter

-A carton of cigarettes, more can be purchased/handwaved

-A winter coat that Heimr bullied him into purchasing

-A matching pair of boots for the coat

-A little knit wolf with sunglasses from Elsword.

-A blanket from Livio.

-A handgun with a wolf engraved on the handle.

-A black husky named Angelina

-A belt pouch to carry his regeneration vials with a cross emblazoned into the leather.

-Authentic rosary beads, with beads made from black glass and a heavy, silver cross pendant

-A black leather choker with a silver cross pendant, similar to the rosary

-A whole church(tm)

-A wool knit cat plushie from Pure Vanilla

-3 tomas chicks that currently live in Kiera's barn

-3 londonites

-Wolf skull shaped cufflinks

-A dagger for his "birthday" from Gnosis

Comments

[oleaeuropaea]

Fair enough.

[Vash accepts the bottle, then thoughtlessly lifts it to his own mouth. It's only once he's made contact with the rim, when he's knocked back that first pull, that he thinks about where the bottle had just been. It isn't just the liquor he's tasting — that makes him wince with the bite of it. Rather, it's the taste of Wolfwood's lips, nicotine mixed with something distinctly him. It warms him more than the alcohol ever could.

He takes down a solid mouthful before lowering the bottle once again. If he's lucky, the Punisher will believe he's enough of a lightweight to already be flushed by the drink, rather than anything else. And if nothing else, Vash quickly fills the silence before anything can be said.]

It's been a long few days.

[True enough. Between the meeting and a certain arrival — one they should probably talk about sooner, rather than later — the already strange world they'd found themselves in was feeling all the stranger.]

[lupusxylem]

[The familiar burn of whiskey in his throat as it goes down is a welcome distraction. He could just immediately take the bottle back from Vash once he’s had a swig, but he doesn’t. Without a glass to measure shots with, he knows even he can get shitfaced real quick, and he’d rather take his time if he’s going to be doing that.

He sighs heavily as he looks vaguely towards the door, where the sounds of the others talking and bustling about can still be heard. There’s a lot that’s happened just since the last time he and Vash were alone, not to mention since their arrival. It’d be too much, if Wolfwood weren’t used to that sort of thing by now. It’s just his life, at this point. You expect it.]

Feels like I’ve been dreaming this whole time. Keep thinkin’ I’m gonna wake back up there. Like nothing happened.

[oleaeuropaea]

[Vash is more than happy to let the bottle go. Much as he might like to be drunk at the moment, the idea of being out of control in this place is an uncomfortable one. Besides, there's more that he needs to say while the both of them are somewhat sober.]

Me, too... [He hangs his head. Part of him wishes it was a dream. But then he thinks of Livio, this new but old Livio, and wonders if that's really for the best. At least this man is alive. He and Wolfwood should probably talk about that, huh?

But first, he takes out a bag of lollipops.]

'm sorry for causin' such a fuss. Or getting involved with it, I mean.

[And another bag is tossed over.]

And for bein' so pushy in the first place.

[Finally, the third.]

... And for tellin' everyone I was a Plant.

[Oops.]

[lupusxylem]

[...

He's quiet, watching as Vash passes him the lollipops as a peace offering. He has no idea when he might have gotten these, yet that doesn't stop him from reaching over to tentatively pull open the bag with an index finger so he can peer inside.

But then he's giving him another bag, and another, and he's ready to stop him like how much did you get-

Until he realizes that Vash was probably buttering him up a little for that final apology, which causes him to sit back a little. His eyes flicker back up to the blonde's face, his gaze narrowing.]

...yeah, uh. Kinda wasn't there for that one.

[Sorry Vash, you could have kept that to yourself and been fine but OOPS]

The hell did you do that for? Do you want people to be stabbing you next?

[oleaeuropaea]

I mean, that was kind of why [Ever the bleeding heart. Vash pulls his knee tighter to his chest and sighs, heavy and deep.] I empathize with him. Being different, even though he's been nothing but nice.

I don't understand anything about where he's from and what they're going through. Maybe that means I shouldn't have gotten involved but... no one deserves to feel isolated like that.

[He's lived that isolation for over a century. It wears on you, even if Vash does his best to smile through it all. In fact, Wolfwood is one of the few people Vash has ever let his guard down around. His shoulders seem to sag under the weight of not just Mizuki's troubles, but his own.]

I just know it'll be a big headache for you if it becomes a headache for me so. Figured the apology was necessary.

[lupusxylem]

[For fucks sake, Vash.

Wolfwood tilts the bottle of whiskey in his hand before taking another swig. He's realizing he's going to need it, not just after tonight but, like. In general.

It makes perfect sense for Vash, though. Of course he'd come to Mizuki's defense like that. Being decried as a monster for whatever reason, while seemingly innocent on the surface. It rings familiar for Vash, who has been treated unfairly the exact same way. They could definitely be reading too much into something both of them are ignorant to, but...he thinks Mizuki wouldn't have so easily been able to con the entire room like that, including the people from his own world.

Then again, he's probably wrong about that too. Conning people with good hearts is easier than you'd think.]

You're just a big headache period, you know that?

[He grouses, shaking his head before looking away again.]

Dunno how many times I'm going to have to watch you stick your neck out for somebody you barely know.

[oleaeuropaea]

[Those eyes squeeze shut. His head tilts, so that his forehead is properly pressed against his knees, instead of just the side of it. He deserves the scolding, and for dragging Wolfwood into it. It still doesn't feel good though. He wishes it were easier to make him understand, to stop fighting over doing the right thing.

When he speaks again, it's muffled by the fabric of his clothes. His voice sounds a touch distracted.]

I'd do it for you, too. If I needed to.

[lupusxylem]

[Why?, he wants to ask. But he knows why. It's Vash. He'd do it for anyone and everyone, not just him...

Wolfwood sighs, heavily. And since Vash has his face buried against his knees, he won't see the journey his facial expressions take in that moment.

Instead of answering that directly, he bonks Vash's knee with the bottle, lightly.]

Here.

[oleaeuropaea]

[Vash glances sidelong at the bottle. He shouldn't drink, not more and definitely not when he's already upset. His fingers reach for the bottle anyway, pulling it up to his lips and knocking it back. Another mouthful goes down. At least he's distracted enough to not think about the taste of Wolfwood's mouth this time.

And hey, the horrid taste is enough to shock him out of his temporary funk. He offers a half smile before passing the bottle back once more.]

Forget I said anything, okay? We don't need to dwell on the bad things. Not when it's been a bad enough night.

[He's already dragged Wolfwood down enough. He shouldn't keep doing it.]

[lupusxylem]

[I mean. It would be nice to just forget Vash ever opened his mouth, but Wolfwood can't exactly do that. He's let the cat out of the bag in more than one way, and he's gotten people drawing weapons on him, and...if Wolfwood's blood pressure rises any higher, he's sure he's going to explode.

He takes the bottle back, holding it loosely by the neck without drinking more for now. He's going to start feeling what he has had pretty soon here, whiskey will do that. But, at the very least, the warmth spreading under his skin he can attribute to the alcohol and nothing else, and that it is helping to dull his frustration. Just a bit, but it's there.]

Yeah. But I don't think you came up here to just sit and play the quiet game.

[Vash came to apologize, sure, but...]

[oleaeuropaea]

You're right. I can leave, if you want?

[It's the exact opposite of what Wolfwood is asking of him, but it's the first thing his mind goes to. Half of the Punisher's grief this evening has been a result of Vash and his own stupid actions. It's not the first time he's thrown himself on a knife for the sake of a kid, or something close to it. He knows Wolfwood is damn tired of it.

So while he he doesn't regret opening his mouth for his own sake, he'll make an exception for Wolfwood.]

Really, I just came to bring you your stuff. Figured it was the least I could do after everything.

[lupusxylem]

[What Vash maybe doesn't realize is that he's putting the onus on Wolfwood a lot, here, in that he has to be the one to say "stay". Stay, even if the walls he keeps throwing up seem to want otherwise.

He looks down at the bottle he's still holding, about a third of it gone now from the two of them drinking it straight. He thinks back to the other night in the snow, when Vash cried at him to not force him to make the choice to push Wolfwood away, and in that moment, he'd refused.

Here he is again. Having Wolfwood to be the one to say "go", because he's the one who does that. It's easier, right?

Wolfwood takes a deep breath, then exhales heavily.]

Don't. Last thing you need to be doing now is going back out there.

[He doesn't bring up the fact Vash could just go to his own room, of course. It's easier to assume he'd go right back into the lobby where tensions are more than lightly still high.]

[oleaeuropaea]

[That's the thing about Vash the Stampede. He'll insist that his causes are just. He'll insist that he's only trying to do the right thing, or just give people space. Ultimately, he's only ever used people's own needs as a shield for himself. It's hard to say if it's conscious or unconscious. Knowing Vash, it's just another tool in his arsenal to piss people off and convince them to hold him at arm's length.

Regardless, it is a relief to have Wolfwood encourage him to stay. It doesn't entirely take away the feeling of being a burden, but it lessens it to a degree.]

Okay.

[Wolfwood isn't wrong. If he'd left the room, there was no way he'd go to be alone with his thoughts. He'd pick a fight, or worse, start moping about himself more than he already is. Either way, this is the better option for the both of them.]

Heimr was a little worried about you, you know. You and all your smoking. Told him not to sweat it so much.

[lupusxylem]

What, really? Tch, that old man...

[Wolfwood has scooted himself back on the mattress far enough to lean against the wall now, one leg bent at the knee while the other remains stretched out. He's bandying about the idea of drinking more booze, swirling it around in the bottle, but decides to just keep a tight grip for now. He could also light up again, but that's a categorically awful idea when he's recently had whiskey in his mouth.]

He is smoke. Somebody ought'a tell him to look in a mirror. [He already made that joke AT you, Wolfwood.] Anyway, you'd think he wouldn't care. Me buying is good for business.

[Assuming it even counts as that. He's not sure what the guy even does with the things they bring him, since- to Wolfwood- it just seems like river trash.]

[oleaeuropaea]

[Maybe it's the alcohol working through his system. Maybe it's the invitation to stay. Either way, Vash finds himself leaning down onto the mattress. He lies flat on his back, arms out wide. His eyes watch the ceiling, taking note of how it already wobbles and tries to spin. It's been awhile since he's drank, and it's showing.

Especially when he laughs at the joke. With no one but Nick to take credit for it, what is he supposed to do.]

Good one.

[He does have his doubts about Wolfwood's vices being good for business, but he also has the decency to keep it to himself.]

He gave the candy to me for free. Seemed worried enough about us both. Almost makes ya feel at home.

[lupusxylem]

[Wolfwood doesn't seem to mind it when Vash flops over onto his bed. Might as well, if he's staying for now. He's watching him too, though it's mostly masked by those ever present shades, hiding his eyes.

It's hard to believe that this guy would be worried about them, two assholes who have done nothing but cause trouble since they got here. He'd be better off not helping them, really. Let nature take its course and all that. But Heimr is not Wolfwood, and we are all the more thankful for it.

Vash mentions the candy, prompting him to look back over at the beds. There is a fucking lot of it too...then he likens it to feeling like home, and it forces Wolfwood's thoughts into a different direction. He feels his chest tighten a little, his tongue looser now due to the booze.

He looks away, instead staring across the room at the far wall now.]

You've met him, I'm guessing.

[Him. Who else.]

[oleaeuropaea]

[It was a poor choice in words, and Vash knows it. The conversation was bound to go sour, given the direction he's taken it. Wincing and sucking in a breath does nothing to make it go away, and he doubts insisting on talking about something else will either. It needed to be brought up, this strange discrepancy between what their new friend had experienced versus themselves.

It's just a hell of a night to broach the conversation.]

I have. He's... way different than what I remember. [Vash's head angles upward. He squints toward Wolfwood, hoping that the wobble of his gaze will remain at bay long enough to at least see this conversation through.]

It's really him?

[lupusxylem]

[It's really him?

Wolfwood huffs, looking pensive.]

...yeah. It's Livio.

[But the way Wolfwood says that doesn't sound all that happy. Still conflicted, to be sure.]

But either something happened between us fighting him and now, or... [He grits his teeth, shaking his head.] I don't know. He's different.

But it's still him.

[Wolfwood sinks back further against the wall, because now it's his turn to withdraw. There is a part of him still clinging to this story, desperate to keep it untainted and divorced from its reality, but at the same time...without context, Vash is going to be even more lost and confused about it than Wolfwood.

And, thus far, Vash has more reason to know than anybody else. It also helps that he's a couple swigs into the whiskey...]

You...really don't know what he is to me, you know.

[oleaeuropaea]

[Whatever haunts Wolfwood, Vash doesn't fault him for. There's a grim reality to Livio's presence here, no matter how relieving it might be to know he's alive. Whatever mess they were wrapped up in, the other man was now caught too. It didn't bode well for any of them, least of all their newest companion.]

He's different. But he's still him. [He tries to sound as comforting he can. The truth was that he felt entirely out of his element. Whatever was happening was beyond Vash's ken, something that was no easy feat.

He doesn't dwell on that strangeness for too long, though. As Wolfwood continues to speak, Vash rolls onto his side. He pillows his head beneath an arm and stares up at the other man. If he's willing to speak, then the Plant is willing to listen.]

You can tell me about him, if you want.

cw: implied child experimentation/abuse

[lupusxylem]

[He's never told anyone this story. No one. He's amazed he even still remembers it, but the one thing the Eye couldn't take from him were his memories. At least, not with Wolfwood. Livio seemed to have been a different story. A more "perfect" specimen produces by the doctor's twisted experiments.

Wolfwood sighs deeply, his head dropping back with an audible thunk against the wall.]

I lived at that orphanage. Hopeland. And, one day...a shrimpy kid scared of his own shadow was brought in. Kept me awake at night, crying for his parents. I figured he'd get over it eventually like the rest of us, but he just kept moping around. So...I figured I'd see what his deal was.

[He pauses, the sound of people talking distantly still humming through the floorboards.]

We became friends pretty fast after that. We were kids, so. [He closes his eyes.] He was always following me around. Always trying to keep up.

But then. Wasn't long after that when they showed up. They'd said I'd been "selected". That I was special. I didn't understand what it meant, but everyone seemed so...happy for me. They waved me off like I was getting adopted or something.

[...]

Rollo. I don't need to tell you what happened to me next. Or why I'm...like this.

They did to Livio what they did to me. They made me believe that if I kept jumping when they said how high, he and the other kids would be safe. All a fucking lie.

[oleaeuropaea]

[Vash's attention remains locked on Wolfwood as he speaks. Most of what he says is a confirmation of what he's already assumed. He wasn't privy to Knives' plans, but details still made it across the sands. Putting two and two together when it came to both the Punisher's latent abilities and his assignment was easy enough to do.

But there was something more that it confirmed. Vash had always been confident when he insisted that Wolfwood was a good person. Anyone who would throw down their life and subject themselves to near torture for an orphanage could be considered bad. But now he sees just how deep that tie goes. Some might have called it selfish. For Vash, it was an act of pure love.]

You were young. And they manipulated that. They manipulated both of you. [He wasn't sure how Wolfwood could have come out with as much free will as he had, while Livio had been a husk of a person. he doesn't want to ask that

He sits up instead, easing closer to Wolfwood. His hand extends, then draws back as if struck by a second thought. Nevertheless, Vash doesn't shy away fully.]

I'm sorry it happened to the two of you. That you couldn't lead a better life. [That bleeding heart of his feels like it's about to rip itself in two.] Are you - I mean, a lot has happened, Wolfwood. Are you okay...?

[lupusxylem]

[For what it's worth, Wolfwood doesn't pull away. He stays right where he is, looking like he's too tired to do much else. He never knew how telling this to someone might make him feel, but it doesn't necessarily feel lighter, or like he's no longer carrying a burden. It's just...someone else knows about it now, he guesses.

As for why he retained his free will...well, that much has everything to do with Wolfwood himself. He, as far as he knows, is the only person who managed to get as far as he did in trying to escape. They too saw his ability to continue to fight back and lash out as an oddity. Perhaps it would have been a failure, had Wolfwood not taken so well to the chemical enhancement. It saved him all the same as it had doomed him.

Vash is right, though. The Eye preys on children who don't know any better, and...Wolfwood honestly has no clue how many more like him could be out there. It's just as likely there are more he simply doesn't know about. Nevertheless, the expected apologies come, and part of him wants to tell Vash to save it. It's too late for sorry, even when he knows Vash feels in some way responsible since it's his brother spearheading such a campaign.

But then Vash asks him if he's okay, and Wolfwood has to force out a laugh. It's dull, and heavy.]

Look at me, blondie. Do I look okay to you?

[He's a fucked up mess is what he is, despite how hard he works to keep up the image of the opposite. It probably doesn't help that Wolfwood is looking at Vash now, his eyes visible over the rim of his glasses.

He takes another swig.]

But it ain't like I can stop. You saw what happened on the sand steamer.

[If the orphanage had been destroyed, it would have been all to fuel Wolfwood's obedience. Nothing more.]

[oleaeuropaea]

[It isn't just about Nai, not entirely. None of this would have ever happened if not for Vash's role in allowing the Big Fall to happen. There was a chance that Wolfwood might have been born in a happier, safer place. That he and Livio, and the rest of No Man's Land, could have had better lives on a better planet if not for his own hands.

It isn't just the blood of those that died in that Fall that stains his hands. It's everyone who's lived, suffered, and died on the planet afterward.

He at least has the good sense not to say as much. Internalizing every bit of grief and outwardly blaming himself for everyone's suffering was only bound to get his ass kicked. And while Wolfwood might not want pity, and interpret any sort of empathy as such, the least Vash can do is be present.

He pushes himself up with his cybernetic arm, just a little. Just enough to be able to extend the flesh hand, palm facing upward.]

You might not be able to stop, but at least you don't have to go it alone. We're both stuck together, right? Least I can do is help you shoulder some of that burden, Nick.

[lupusxylem]

[Vash carefully tempering his response here is wise, though given the fact that Wolfwood is tipsy by this point, it's hard to say what his reaction to it might be. He hasn't shown himself to be a belligerent drunk, at the very least. Probably because he carries plenty of that anger with him when sober, he doesn't need to be drunk for that to come out. No, the liquor makes the words come more easily that otherwise he would have kept close to his chest. Vash is hearing things he never thought he'd tell a soul, but with Livio here...it makes it a little harder to keep secrets. And now that Vash has let the cat out of the bag in regards to knowing Wolfwood's original intentions? He may as well be looking at him with his heart completely bare.

...well. Almost. There are some parts still locked away, parts that are slowly being coaxed to the surface little by little.

He never wants to be pitied, no. But to be understood?

...

He looks over to Vash, and his outstretched hand. Then...Wolfwood shifts so he can reach out and take it, just for a brief moment.]

Yeah.

...I'm glad you're here. Vash.

[oleaeuropaea]

[Sorry, Wolfwood. Once his hand is near Vash's own, he threads their fingers together. It's a gesture that's far more intimate than he'd normally be able to stomach, but given their previous resolutions and paired with the alcohol, his good sense is starting to trickle away. Left with nothing to hold them back, Vash stares down at their connected digits, watching as his thumb scrapes against the side of the other man's hand without really thinking about it. He's far too busy mapping the feeling of Wolfwood's palm against his own, after all.

Too close, his mind warns. Pull back. But for once that sinister, self-sabotaging voice is muffled beneath the faint buzz of booze and good companionship. Regret would come later, but not yet. Not while he's here.

His eyes flick upward, blue meeting brown with an almost boyish hesitation. How long has his face felt so hot. How long has his heart been fluttering like this. And above all, how long has it been since he's been able to hold onto someone for so long.]

I'm not going anywhere. It's a promise.