Inbox for sticksandbones

[lupusxylem]

I will not make this look pretty later, don't believe me it's all a lie

====

INVENTORY:

-The Punisher: Wolfwood's cross gun, normally covered in wrappings.
INFO from the mods on use so I don't forget: The cross-gun will be able to fire regular bullets (regains of these can be handwaved; silvered bullets can be purchased in the bonus AC store) just fine, without any special nerfs. The laser feature will be usable a max of 3 times a month.

-4 Vials of his Drugs(tm)
Info from the mods on use so I don't forget: Wolfwood can start with up to 5 vials of his Lab Drugs. More of these can be regained for the price of a Small Item (a maximum of 5 at once), but they will not work on other player characters for obvious reasons. Their healing ability will also be slightly nerfed to not heal anything instantaneously, but rather over a few minutes.
3/7: All Vials have been used. Will need to purchase replacements if he wants to use them again.
???: Forgot to put the date here but he's purchased more Vials, one has been used to he has 4 currently.

-A lighter

-A carton of cigarettes, more can be purchased/handwaved

-A winter coat that Heimr bullied him into purchasing

-A matching pair of boots for the coat

-A little knit wolf with sunglasses from Elsword.

-A blanket from Livio.

-A handgun with a wolf engraved on the handle.

-A black husky named Angelina

-A belt pouch to carry his regeneration vials with a cross emblazoned into the leather.

-Authentic rosary beads, with beads made from black glass and a heavy, silver cross pendant

-A black leather choker with a silver cross pendant, similar to the rosary

-A whole church(tm)

-A wool knit cat plushie from Pure Vanilla

-3 tomas chicks that currently live in Kiera's barn

-3 londonites

-Wolf skull shaped cufflinks

-A dagger for his "birthday" from Gnosis

Comments

YAY DIVORCE

[lupusxylem]

[The moment Vash left, Wolfwood grabbed his cigarettes and lighter and went to smoking. He will probably apologize later to Livio about just how badly the cabana now reeks of cigarette smoke, but at least given the nature of these little houses, it should be easy enough to air out. He's not particularly thinking smartly right now as it is, and chain-smoking is the one vice he's decided to immediately turn to. There's instant gratification to be had, a burn in his throat and chest as he holds the toxic smoke in. It's fitting, given how he's feeling right about now.

He's through smoking by the time Livio arrives at least, mostly because he blew through his entire supply in one sitting and does not have the gumption to go get more right now. Nor does he get up to answer the door this time, recognizing the gait to be Livio's, as well as his knock...and it seems that Angelina recognizes it too. It's actually a little sad, to see how identically her reaction to Livio mirrors her reaction to Vash just hours prior, as she barks excitedly and hops around his feet the moment Livio steps in. She's a smart dog, she's aware that something is going on since she can sense Wolfwood's stress, but...she's also still a puppy. She's excited to see Livio, bottom line.

Wolfwood says nothing as Livio comes in. He's worn out in a new kind of way, and his eyes ache from the effort of holding his tears back. He's pretty sure some leaked out while he was smoking, but he has yet to actually sit there and cry it out. No, he is shoving his feelings waaaay the fuck down over this one, because he doesn't want to think about it any harder than that right now.

But. Livio deserves his attention. Livio didn't do anything wrong, here. Livio is caught in the crossfire. So, once the larger man has a seat nearby, Wolfwood will finally lift his head from where his chin was resting on his chest, still sitting in the same chair Vash left him in.]

Did he talk t'you?

[livlaughlove]

[assassin mode or not, livio isn't fucking heartless. of course he pets the dog. pats her head, strokes her cheeks, rubs her ears. it's honestly relieving to have something to do with his hands, even if it's a bit... mechanical.

as for the smoke, he isn't bothered in the least. it just smells like wolfwood, to him.]

Yes.

He's going to find a tent while we're here. He also insisted on staying at the inn when we get back to the Grove.

[lupusxylem]

Yeah. Said as much to me too. Didn't have it in me to fight 'im on it.

[But, judging by Wolfwood's flat tone as he says that, he's not particularly pleased or super on board with the idea. Settling, coping, whichever the case may be. He just wanted Vash to go so he could be alone.]

...Liv, I. I'm.

[...]

I dunno where to start.

[livlaughlove]

I tried. He wasn't having it.

[when he glances up at wolfwood, it's with a distant look in his eyes. he knows he should be more... present, but hopefully, it'll come. at least his warm body is in the chair, right?]

Start wherever.

[lupusxylem]

[That is all he could expect. He won't force Livio to do anything, or say anything more than what he's capable of. He's just glad he's here.

Anyway. When Wolfwood begins, it's with a voice that's raspy and worn, deeper even than its usual baritone. Angelina meanwhile has settled in the corner, happy again that Livio and Wolfwood are here. Her ears are perked, expecting Vash to come back too before bedtime.]

Vash made it pretty clear, under no uncertain terms, that he don't trust me anymore. [It's blunt. To the point.] Apparently me keepin' what I knew to myself was enough to decide that.

[He's bitter. Upset. Angry, still. But those feelings are, at least, on a dull simmer because of how emotionally wrung-out he is.]

I told 'im point blank I thought he wasn't bein' fair t'me. And...you know the rest.

[livlaughlove]

[vash doesn't trust wolfwood anymore. he'd already heard it from vash once tonight, and now he's hearing it from nick. when vash said it, livio had just forced himself into numbness. there's something to be said about the fact that this time, it sparks a flame in the core of his chest. when he speaks, now, the level tone comes from effort rather than lack of feeling.]

He talked a lot about both of us not listening to how he felt. But he didn't want to hear a damn word about what I wanted, either. [he can imagine it was the same for wolfwood. but liv knows that just... complaining about vash's behavior isn't productive. it isn't really fair, either, when he isn't here to defend himself.

livio takes a deep breath, trying to soothe his own anger naturally, rather than clinically.]

I suggested a few things he should talk to you about. But he seems keen on giving you the space you asked for, so I doubt he'll come to you first. Fair warning, and all.

[lupusxylem]

[That doesn't surprise Wolfwood at all. He's starting to think Vash is more stubborn than even he is. That's another example of why he felt they needed some time apart. They cannot seem to meet in the middle on anything, and when an inch of ground is covered, a mile is taken back. But he isn't going to volunteer more of his own frustrations either, even if airing them would be deserved. He isn't here to just talk shit for no reason, especially not after how things actually went down.]

Tch. Figures.

[Wolfwood sinks back a little further in his chair, his right hand clicking and unclicking his lighter. It's a nervous tick, since he has nothing else to occupy himself with. No more cigarettes, no energy to go get more.]

Fine by me. I'd be lyin' if I said I was particularly interested in talkin' to 'im right now anyway.

[...]

I need time to think.

[livlaughlove]

I understand.

[just as quickly as it came on, livio feels his anger melt away. the bottom line is... both wolfwood's and vash's happiness is important to him. all of this hurts, but nothing he can do will speed along a solution. the other men just need the space and time they've asked for to ease their own pain.]

... So you're aware, I'm going to try to divide my time between the two of you. I don't want him to feel abandoned.

[lupusxylem]

[And to that...Wolfwood nods.]

I wouldn't have wanted ya t'do anythin' different. As pissed off as I am, I don't want the guy to be alone either. He needs a good influence around, anyway.

[A better influence. One that isn't Wolfwood.]

...M'sorry you've gotten caught up in all of this, Liv. I tried, I really fuckin' tried to not have to go down that route, but he didn't leave me with much other choice.

[livlaughlove]

[hm. similar to the conversation he had with vash, livio... doesn't feel he can address wolfwood's apology right now. maybe that's cold or cruel of him, but it feels kinder to ignore it than to snap at nick.

so... moving on.]

Would you be opposed to me taking Angelina with me on occasion? So that she doesn't feel like he left her, either.

[lupusxylem]

[If Wolfwood finds that part being ignored strange at all...he doesn't voice it. He knows better than to bring it up right now anyway, so he won't press the issue.

Definitely leaves him wondering, though, where Livio is mentally in regards to all of this.]

Nah. She's still just a puppy, she doesn't get it. I trust you with her.

[livlaughlove]

Thank you.

[he doesn't know what else to say, in the meantime. doesn't know if nick has anything else he needs to air out. fortunately for livio and unfortunately for wolfwood, liv doesn't really have a concept of how awkward his extended silence may be.]

[lupusxylem]

[Liv, babe...at least Wolfwood is used to it, but even still. It immediately causes his stomach to knot up, prompting him to sit forward just a little so he's less slumped over in his chair.]

Do you got...nothin' else t'say, huh?

[livlaughlove]

[sometimes, livio... very much hates interacting with other people in a casual setting.

battle is easy. simple. but social niceties, etiquette, consideration and common courtesy are fucking complicated and hard. he's never gotten the hang of them, as much as he tries desperately to stay afloat on what feels like quicksand at all times. if he says the wrong thing, will it start an argument? will it cause one if he says nothing?

wolfwood has told him he doesn't want livio to agree with him all the time if it means he doesn't feel entitled to his opinion. but still, liv has to ask.]

Is there something you want me to say?

*So, not do, smh fingers

[lupusxylem]

I don't want you to say anythin'. I just...I dunno. I'm wonderin' what you think about it all, I guess. Like in regards to you, not me, or Vash.

[Livio is just as affected, and Wolfwood isn't going to pretend he isn't. He's having to constantly work around them, bend around them. And he's getting the feeling he's been trying to avoid speaking about that.]

oh oops i thought it made sense kladjsf

[livlaughlove]

[between his earlier conversation with vash and the fact that everything else has happened while he wasn't around -- which is largely his own goddamn fault for not keeping basic control of himself -- livio is frustrated, in a word. still, just as nick suspects, he does his damnedest to shove it down and keep his tone even.]

What does it matter? It won't change anything.

[lupusxylem]

It does matter, actually.

[Okay NOW Wolfwood is sitting forward properly, his arms folded loosely over his knees as he snaps his lighter shut.]

Talk to me, Liv. Please.

[livlaughlove]

[... alright. if this is really what nick wants, livio will oblige. unlike wolfwood, who sits forward, livio leans back, letting his head fall back onto the top of the chair. he isn't trying to be difficult, just close his eyes while he gathers his wits. and eventually, he looks back at nick.]

I think you're both being asses. I don't think you're being fair to each other. To Angelina. [to him. he won't say it, though, because if he had just been there in the first place, maybe he could have run damage control as it happened.]

I think Vash is so caught up in a future we don't know whether he can change that he isn't thinking about how anyone else feels. I think you should've known better than to send him away when he's so prone to spiraling.

I think he's going to assume that I want nothing to do with him so long as you two are fighting. That I only want to be with him out of - convenience. And yes, I think I have an obligation to be here for you.

It isn't the first time I've been in a precarious spot. It won't be the last. So, again, what does it matter?

[lupusxylem]

[Wolfwood's thumb worries the smooth top of his lighter as Livio finally- finally- says his piece. Wolfwood affords him that chance, because he knows he deserves it as much as anyone else, even if he might not think so. He takes what he has to say on the chin, even if the thought that he shouldn't have sent Vash away sticks in his craw. He gets it, he does. He knows how Vash is, but he's just so...tired, of having to walk on eggshells, of his attempts to talk being muddied by Vash either running from the problem, or refusing to stop and think, or listen.

But he won't deny that Livio does speak the truth. They've both been asses, and their drama is pulling the people they care about in whether they want it to or not. It's just that, Wolfwood has never had this many people he gives a rat ass about in one place before, at least...people that weren't the kids at Hopeland.

....

The silence that follows is cut by the sound of him flicking the lighter again, only this time he flicks it open to properly show the flame.]

It matters cause you matter. Whether you agree with me or not. M'glad you told me.

[livlaughlove]

[the fact that wolfwood doesn't have much to say in response tells livio that he should have continued keeping his mouth shut. but it's out there now, and he can't take it back. ironically, just like vash and nick's own argument.

saying negative things about nicholas, especially to his face, is fucking exhausting, though. livio slumps a little in his chair and looks off to the side, brows pulling down as he tries to hide behind the hair not currently pulled back.]

... I love you, you know.

[lupusxylem]

[Don't misunderstand, Livio. It's less that he has nothing to say, and more that Livio has given him a lot to chew on. He's actually trying to think about what he was told before he goes running his mouth about it, like he's wont to do. That therapy coming in clutch here-

Anyway. He watches as Livio essentially tries to pull back into himself, and since he's not looking back, Wolfwood is safe to allow his expression to soften as he flicks the lighter again.]

I love you too. ...I still can't believe I'm able t'tell you that, even now.

[Click click.]

I don't...have you back home, anymore.

[Which he means quite literally. He hasn't seen the future. He doesn't know if he ever sees Livio again. He just remembers what he saw, and he knows that isn't something even someone that can immediately regenerate is coming back from.

He stares at his own reflection, warped back at him in the metal of his lighter.]

And I don't really stop to tell ya how thankful I am that I got this second chance. Here. And...

You're right, y'know. About all of it. So let's...I dunno.

[He shifts, his head turning to rest against one shoulder.]

I wanna be better. [He echoes the first thing he ever told Mizuki, in his first therapy session.] For you. Vash. Everyone else who's gotta deal with my ass. And that's gonna start with me doin' whatever I can to to make this easier on you.

[livlaughlove]

[for the first time, livio picks up on the flickering of the lighter. it's been going on all night, but he only just notices. his eyes dart to the object in nicholas' hands, then to his face.]

I think you are doing better than a few months ago. [... he doesn't want to think about the fact that wolfwood was forcibly humbled in march.] So... you should give yourself some credit.

For my part, I don't "gotta deal with your ass." I get to be in your life. But if you figure something that'll help make up with Vash... I don't know. If I can help in any way, tell me.

[for now, though.]

... Are you out? I can run to the shop, if you're not up for it.

[lupusxylem]

[Haha, yeah. Wolfwood's downward spiral ended when he died about it. He can't say he isn't still circling the drain in a lot of aspects, but at the very least he's learned his god damn lesson in terms of "don't piss off the Forest maybe".

He notices when Livio notices the lighter, too, and it makes an unexpected pang tighten in his chest. He'd been waiting to see if he would notice...if he'd react to it at all, really. If it's something he remembers, or if his Nick never showed him that trick.]

Hah. Thanks. It ain't much, but I guess it's...somethin'.

[Baby, microscopic steps.]

It's like I said, though. M'gonna take this time to think. I don't just wanna just...throw it all away.

[He shakes his head a little, holding the lighter in front of himself now, the flame flickering near his fingertips.]

But I can't say what I want to now. Not until I know exactly what that is. But when I do...I know you got my back for it.

[Then, he finally looks up.]

Been out. Not sure if it's a need so much as a want, though.

[livlaughlove]

[he nods along, watching the flame dance as well. there isn't any particular recognition in livio's eyes, for better or for worse.]

I'm glad you want to take the time to make sure you say the right thing. I'm sorry for coming off... harsh.

[after all, livio has no way of knowing what exactly was said between wolfwood and vash. for all he's aware, nick could have been uncharacteristically nice about it. or not. either way...]

Alright, then. Do you want me to go get some? Do you want to go together? Do you want me to stay here? Or... some other option you'd prefer? I want to take care of you, now.

[lupusxylem]

Please, y'know me. I don't wanna be coddled, or have shit sugar-coated. You're tellin' me like it is, and I respect that.

[Please yell at him it's what he's most receptive to-

Wolfwood looks back down at his lighter, and after a moment, he snaps it back shut and puts it into his blazer pocket, shifting upright to his feet. His knees protest, since he's been sitting in the same spot for a while now.]

I'll go with you. Could use the fresh air.