Inbox for sticksandbones

[lupusxylem]

I will not make this look pretty later, don't believe me it's all a lie

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INVENTORY:

-The Punisher: Wolfwood's cross gun, normally covered in wrappings.
INFO from the mods on use so I don't forget: The cross-gun will be able to fire regular bullets (regains of these can be handwaved; silvered bullets can be purchased in the bonus AC store) just fine, without any special nerfs. The laser feature will be usable a max of 3 times a month.

-4 Vials of his Drugs(tm)
Info from the mods on use so I don't forget: Wolfwood can start with up to 5 vials of his Lab Drugs. More of these can be regained for the price of a Small Item (a maximum of 5 at once), but they will not work on other player characters for obvious reasons. Their healing ability will also be slightly nerfed to not heal anything instantaneously, but rather over a few minutes.
3/7: All Vials have been used. Will need to purchase replacements if he wants to use them again.
???: Forgot to put the date here but he's purchased more Vials, one has been used to he has 4 currently.

-A lighter

-A carton of cigarettes, more can be purchased/handwaved

-A winter coat that Heimr bullied him into purchasing

-A matching pair of boots for the coat

-A little knit wolf with sunglasses from Elsword.

-A blanket from Livio.

-A handgun with a wolf engraved on the handle.

-A black husky named Angelina

-A belt pouch to carry his regeneration vials with a cross emblazoned into the leather.

-Authentic rosary beads, with beads made from black glass and a heavy, silver cross pendant

-A black leather choker with a silver cross pendant, similar to the rosary

-A whole church(tm)

-A wool knit cat plushie from Pure Vanilla

-3 tomas chicks that currently live in Kiera's barn

-3 londonites

-Wolf skull shaped cufflinks

-A dagger for his "birthday" from Gnosis

Comments

[oleaeuropaea]

[Vash... wishes he was surprised. He'd been hoping for any other answer. They'd found solutions before, or at least agreed to seek them out over time. They've overcome so much, so surely this would be just one more thing for them.

In the same second he thinks this, he can't help but want to backtrack. His mouth opens, very nearly trying to take everything back. "It's fine, I do trust you." "I'll come around." "Please don't leave." Swallowing his feelings has always been so easy. He could do it now.

But he doesn't. Here he is, begging Wolfwood for honesty and claiming their trust was broken for the lack of it. He cannot lie in the face of that. To do so would only damage them both further.

So he doesn't. He just... nods.]

Maybe we do. [And that's okay. He tells himself that, even as he tries to smile through it. It lasts only a second, before it fades. Left in its place is a rapid cascade of emotions, from grief to anger, desperation and fear, and then finally, resignation.

Honesty meant showing how he really felt, right? No fake smiles.]

You should... know something first. I'm not trying to change your mind or anything. It's just - [He looks down at the floor.] I'm not going back to No Man's Land. Ourania needs someone to stay behind, right? If me staying here saves lives....

There's more to it than that, but we can talk about it later. I just. Want you to know.

[lupusxylem]

[For as stoic as Wolfwood can seem on the surface, he- too- wishes this could all be undone. He said as much to Zazie, cried over it even, that he wishes they'd never come here. That they'd never told him anything. They didn't know that Wolfwood hadn't lived that future, granted, but that doesn't change the fact that it happened and he wishes it hadn't. It's been a complete cascade ever since, and it's come to a point where he can't outrun the avalanche anymore. It's swallowed them both, and he truly sees no other alternative because this talk isn't getting them much of anywhere in that respect.

He hates it as much as Vash does, and actually admitting it is going to be one of the hardest things he's had to do, believe it or not. Because this isn't working. He wants it to, he wants them to be better and to be able to function as a unit the same way as they can when they fight on the battlefield, but they simply aren't there yet. Vash has his own demons to fight, and Wolfwood has his.

But then...Vash chooses right now to tell him that he's not going back. He's not going home, because he thinks that staying here will prevent the future to come.

He sits in stillness for a long few moments.]

Didn't think we had a choice in that.

[Going home. Staying. But that's just another thing to add to the pile, he supposes.]

[oleaeuropaea]

When we do have the choice. You know mine.

[He'll tell Wolfwood about Zazie later, and the plan they're putting together. Maybe. Maybe it won't matter. If they aren't together, then there's no reason to feel bad that he'll be staying behind, right? Perhaps it'll simply make the choice that much easier.

But those are thoughts for another time. Right now, he's far too consumed with holding back the grief building within him. Really, truthfully, he doesn't want to go. He worries that if he leaves, everything will fall apart. Funny how that matters now, when he's already turned tail so many times.]

Mind if I grab a few things?

[He's trying so hard not to choke back the tears. Wolfwood deserves honesty. And yet in that same vein, he worries that if he breaks down, it'll manipulate Wolfwood into changing his mind. It doesn't feel like there's a right answer here.

As he debates, a single tear slips down his cheek. Embarrassing.]

When we get back, you keep the cabin. Makes more sense for me to duck out than to make you, Liv, and Angelina find a new place.

[Which... god, he's going to have to talk to Livio about this too. He isn't ready for that either. Nor is he ready to say goodbye to Angelina, who he just got back. Better to start in on that while he waits for permission. He ambles over to her and holds out a hand, then scritches behind her ear.]

You'll take good care of your papa, right?

[lupusxylem]

[It's something else that needs to be discussed, yet Wolfwood simply lacks the emotional bandwidth for it. He can't even think about how he feels about it right now because he's too worn down by everything else. He knows it's going to upset him when he thinks about it for more than a few seconds, because that is basically Vash directly saying "if we can ever leave you'll have to go without me", and since they're already seeking space...there's no need to open that can of worms. Maybe it seems callous that he doesn't respond to that point any further, but he just can't.

Instead, he simply inclines his head a fraction when Vash asks if he can grab his things. He's not so much of an asshole that he's just going to demand he get out with nothing after all.

Vash is crying, and Wolfwood is likewise not emotionless. He's just managing to hide it a bit better, shouldering it behind a stony mask, the wetness clinging to his lashes kept to himself behind the dark lenses of his shades. If this were any other time, under any other circumstance, he'd reach out to rub that tear from his cheek with his thumb. But he can't.

They need space. Though he's loath to admit it, it's been building for a time between them, starting in little ways when Wolfwood died and Vash became corrupted, compounding on itself up until now. He hates it, of course. But...what else can they do? Just keep circling the drain, arguing about the same thing, unable to reach a compromise?

No. They can't. It's not fair to each other, not fair to those around them...

Vash tells him to keep the cabin, and honestly he was expecting that one. He wants to tell him no, fuck that, fuck off, but he knows it's going to be another argument if he does. His initial idea was to just stay at the church, but whatever. He'll talk to Livio about it later, after Vash talks to Livio first, which he knows will happen at some point.

Angelina doesn't understand, of course. She just looks up at Vash happily, licking his fingers and leaning into his touch. It's then that Wolfwood finally says something, breaking his silence up to now.]

Take care of yourself too. Vash.

[oleaeuropaea]

[Wolfwood's words are what draw him away from the near mournful pets he gives Angelina. He adores her, of course. Leaving her is like leaving his flesh and blood behind. But she's Wolfwood's baby first, and this is just... one of those necessary things.

He straightens up, turning to Wolfwood. He tries his best to offer a reassuring smile. And despite the subject, it seems... real?]

I promise I'll do my best.

[He knows his best is the bare minimum, but... He still means it. Gnosis had already given him a thorough talking to. This sort of thing had to stop. The last thing he wants is to add to the already compounded grief, too.

Without lingering too long, Vash gathers up his stuff. It's just his beach clothes and his jacket. He does have half of a mind to leave it to Wolfwood but... that seems cruel to the both of them. He shoulders it on, while the rest of his items are tucked under an arm.]

I won't be far.

[It's a quiet way of saying that he won't be running off again. He'll find a cabana if he can, and if not he'll grab a tent and camp on the beach. He'll take care of himself.

But... beyond that, he doesn't say anything. As much as he wants to say "I love you," it feels wrong. It feels like something he doesn't deserve. Wolfwood asked for the break, so Vash won't push his luck. He just opens the door and... gives a little wave.]

I'll see you soon.

[He doesn't smile. He doesn't try to hide his grief beyond swallowing any additional tears.]