Inbox for sticksandbones

[lupusxylem]

I will not make this look pretty later, don't believe me it's all a lie

====

INVENTORY:

-The Punisher: Wolfwood's cross gun, normally covered in wrappings.
INFO from the mods on use so I don't forget: The cross-gun will be able to fire regular bullets (regains of these can be handwaved; silvered bullets can be purchased in the bonus AC store) just fine, without any special nerfs. The laser feature will be usable a max of 3 times a month.

-4 Vials of his Drugs(tm)
Info from the mods on use so I don't forget: Wolfwood can start with up to 5 vials of his Lab Drugs. More of these can be regained for the price of a Small Item (a maximum of 5 at once), but they will not work on other player characters for obvious reasons. Their healing ability will also be slightly nerfed to not heal anything instantaneously, but rather over a few minutes.
3/7: All Vials have been used. Will need to purchase replacements if he wants to use them again.
???: Forgot to put the date here but he's purchased more Vials, one has been used to he has 4 currently.

-A lighter

-A carton of cigarettes, more can be purchased/handwaved

-A winter coat that Heimr bullied him into purchasing

-A matching pair of boots for the coat

-A little knit wolf with sunglasses from Elsword.

-A blanket from Livio.

-A handgun with a wolf engraved on the handle.

-A black husky named Angelina

-A belt pouch to carry his regeneration vials with a cross emblazoned into the leather.

-Authentic rosary beads, with beads made from black glass and a heavy, silver cross pendant

-A black leather choker with a silver cross pendant, similar to the rosary

-A whole church(tm)

-A wool knit cat plushie from Pure Vanilla

-3 tomas chicks that currently live in Kiera's barn

-3 londonites

-Wolf skull shaped cufflinks

-A dagger for his "birthday" from Gnosis

Comments

[lupusxylem]

[Wolfwood feels the barest flicker of relief. Honestly, half of him was worried Vash was about to break up with him right then and there. It wouldn't be the first time he's had that worry, but the first time in a long time.

He grits his teeth, grinding them behind his lips for a moment before saying anything.]

So what about coverin' 'em?

[oleaeuropaea]

[He glances down at his hands, studies the way the light reflects off the nails themselves. His own sinister thoughts churn within his head, insisting that it's a losing battle. Nothing will help Eventually, he shakes his head, hoping that his self-deprecation will go with it.]

Gloves and all of that won't work. I can barely get dressed in the morning. Just lucky the jacket is relatively sturdy.

[lupusxylem]

Mm...I ain't talkin' just 'bout gloves. There's gotta be some way to cover just the claws themselves, right? Then you ain't gotta worry about accidentally nickin' people with 'em.

[It doesn't even have to be a perfect solution, he thinks. As long as the sharp point is removed, and there's no easy way to break skin...that should solve the issue, shouldn't it?

At least, it's worth thinking about before writing off, Wolfwood thinks.]

[oleaeuropaea]

What like... sticking play-doh on the tips?

[Credit where credit is due, it manages to make Vash laugh. It's a soft, grief-lined thing, but there's a hint of mirth there nonetheless.]

It's an idea, at least.

[lupusxylem]

[And Wolfwood, for what it's worth, rolls his eyes. It's almost like their normal banter. Almost.]

Little more sturdy 'n that. But...yeah. That's the idea.

I ain't sayin' we gotta figure it out overnight. But there's no sense in just givin' up like there ain't nothin' we can do. That ain't the Vash I know.

[...]

And....look. I'm. [He takes a breath. Holds it. Counts back from three, like Mizuki taught him.] M'sorry for yellin' at you. I didn't mean it.

[oleaeuropaea]

You're right... [He lets out a faint scoff.] Gotta run my head into the wall a few times. Then keep ramming for good measure.

[His expression does falter, though. The apology is kind. Some part of him appreciates it. Unfortunately, that part of him is muffled by the much louder, more self-flagellating version of himself.]

S'fine. I deserved a little verbal smacking around. I'm just sorry you're always the one that has to do it.

[lupusxylem]

C'mon, Vash. That's what I'm here for.

[It's what he's always been here for, even from the very beginning.

Holding hands is a little iffy right now, he thinks. But Wolfwood reaches out anyway, putting his hand on Vash's knee instead.]

...I love you. Okay?

[oleaeuropaea]

[Well, how can he not flash a smile at that. It's a little withdrawn, bordering on shy, but it's a smile nonetheless. He also doesn't try to pull away from Wolfwood's touch. Through clothing, away from the dangerous parts... it's all okay.]

I love you too. Nothing will ever change that, okay? No matter what kind of big, ugly monster I turn into.

[lupusxylem]

Good.

[Wolfwood sighs, heavily, in a way that suggests...while he isn't happy about this arrangement, things aren't currently dire. They're just. Not great. It's not great! But he knows that, Vash knows that...and there's nothing that can be done by beating a dead horse about it.

At least now he has confirmation. Vash doesn't have to make up excuses, or go slinking around, they just...won't. He guesses.]

...maybe. I dunno. We can...try just layin' down, if you want.

[oleaeuropaea]

[Nothing is great, but when has it ever been. There's always been a sword hanging over their necks. Sometimes they're just lucky, and they can't quite make out the shadow of it. As much as Vash hates it, blames himself for its presence, there is really nothing to be done. Wolfwood has made it clear that he's in it for the long haul, and Vash, at least, has moved beyond trying to remove himself from the equation.

He takes comfort in what he can for the time being, at least. Right now, that means settling in with Wolfwood. He offers a smile, one that's small and weary, but real nonetheless.]

That's a good start.

[He settles himself down. Three of his hands remain to himself, but he can at least twine the blue-tinged digits of his prosthetic with Wolfwood. It's a nice moment. A quiet moment. And if he were wise, he'd leave it as it is.

Vash, though, is not wise. As he settles down, some of his doubts fading into the back of his mind, something else rears its head. He remembers, vaguely, the conversation he'd had with Zazie nearly a month prior. He'd forgotten about their warning in the midst of everything else, but now...]

Nick... Can I ask you somethin'?

[lupusxylem]

[Laying down like this leads Wolfwood to believe it's over, at least for now. They still have the elephant in the room, but it's been addressed and since there's nothing they can do about it, it simply lives here until further notice. Wolfwood is, at least, good at ignoring and compartmentalizing. It's kindof how he does things to cope, for better or worse.

At least he can hold his prosthetic hand. It's not the same, but he knows Vash can feel him, in some capacity, through it. So he takes what strides he can, gripping it tight and closing his eyes.

......]

Mmhm. What?

[oleaeuropaea]

[It's all about baby steps. They'll find a way around it, sooner or later. It's not like Wolfwood will be able to stand keeping his hands off of Vash for too long, right?

Anyway... Now that they're over one hurdle, it's time to throw another one in the way. This one is a bit harder to grapple with. He's sure that Wolfwood has his reasons for keeping things from him, especially with how busy things have been. Nick's always looked out for Vash, especially when he couldn't himself.

But still... Now they're here. And he can't help but wonder...]

If you had the chance to tell someone about something that might... drastically impact their future, would you?

[lupusxylem]

[...

Wolfwood feels his heart skip a beat. Because even without asking...that's way too specific of a thing for Vash to ask without context.

Fucking Zazie. He didn't.]

...why are you askin' me this?

[oleaeuropaea]

[Well that's hardly a promising response. Vash fidgets for a moment or two. His body instinctively shrinks back. He reminds himself that he doesn't know the full story, hoping that this could all be some drastic misunderstanding.]

... Can't a guy ask? [Why he doesn't come out with the truth, he can't say. He has no reason to want to protect Zazie, but at least he'd been honest, right? The least he can do is try to give them a good turn.] All these folks from different times and realities. Maybe I just wanted to be sure...

[lupusxylem]

[Well. This sure fucking sucks, because he doesn't know what kind of answer is the "right" one. He doesn't know what Vash is expecting him to say, because it sounds very much like- if he says the wrong thing here- there's going to be trouble.

But he...already made his mind up, when Zazie told him. He still refuses to fully believe it himself, even if the denial only barely shrouds the reality that something extremely big went down that he and Vash simply haven't witnessed yet. How can he possibly tell Vash that he's responsible for the destruction of an entire city? He can't. It would be cruel to tell someone like him that.

It would crush him. He's not sure if he'd even recover.

He swallows thickly, drawing his arms in towards himself as he stares hard at the wall.]

Depends. I guess.

[oleaeuropaea]

[Vash has never felt so worried for and frustrated with someone at the same time. He hates the way Wolfwood drraws in on himself, not just because he knows the man is upset, but because he knows that whatever he's holding in, it's bad. Vash should have known about it sooner.

So why didn't he?

Swallowing hard, Vash rolls over so that he's flat on his back. His hand, notably, doesn't leave Wolfwood's. In fact, he gives it a squeeze, even as he glares hard at the wood on the ceiling above.]

What did Zazie tell you, Nick?

[He's abandoning the narrative here. He knows, and he won't pretend otherwise. Nick deserves to know that he does, so he can approach the conversation properly.]

[lupusxylem]

[Wolfwood waits. He waits for Vash's reply with bated breath, his heart hammering a panicked staccato behind his ribs. It's almost worse than if he'd just remained silent, him actually confronting him on it directly.

Thanks a fucking lot, Zazie. God fucking damn it.

His heart turns over and drops into the pit of his stomach, and he does not reply for a long time. So long, in fact, that Vash will not be blamed if he has to call his name again. Because it sounds to him like Zazie didn't tell Vash anything, like he'd asked, but still decided to be a cheeky asshole about it and wink-nudge that he knew something, but wouldn't tell him.

Oh, but The Punisher knew. He could tell you. God, he could puke.

...

He takes a deep breath in his nose. Holds it. Lets it out through his mouth.]

Vash. I'm tellin' ya.

Please...don't.

[oleaeuropaea]

[He knows, even from the silence, that it isn't good. It's why he doesn't try to call out to Nick, to urge him to say more. He can reel from the consequences silently, desperately grappling for some kind of hope. He waits for the sword to fall,

But it doesn't. Maybe he should be grateful that Wolfwood is holding out, trying to protect him, but that ever present frustration only grows. Anxiety coils within his gut, a thousand different futures unfolding. One where Wolfwood dies. Where Nai dies. Where he fails to help Jeneora Rock.

(None of these compare to the grim reality, but how could he ever know that?).]

Please, Nick... If something happened, I should know. We have time to fix it, right? Together!

[lupusxylem]

[It was the answer he knew was coming. I can fix it, I can stop it, I can do something-

But Wolfwood knows, for a god damn fact, Vash won't be able to stop this from happening. Largely because Nai was involved. Nai, the catalyst for it all, the nuke waiting to go off. For as much as Wolfwood believes in Vash's ability, it pales in comparison to his twin brother. And...honestly? He hates to say it, he really does, but.

The most believable thing Zazie told him about all of that was the concept that the two of them actually fighting would cause enough of a temporal shift to blow up an entire city.

So what, then, is he meant to do with that information? Vash is begging to be told, and Wolfwood doesn't want to be the person to tell him.

He is struggling, but he's just barely holding it in, even if that means he's started to breathe heavier. Vash won't at least be able to feel how his grip on his prosthetic has become crushing in his panic, his nails scratching at the steel as his heart throbs between his ears.]

Vash. This ain't...somethin' I was ever meant to know. It ain't right. You know it ain't.

Don't make me do this.

[oleaeuropaea]

[Vash might not be able to feel it, but the faint shift in Wolfwood's hands draws his eyes downward. he can see the way Wolfwood's knuckles shine white against his skin. It makes his stomach churn. Wolfwood wouldn't react this way if it weren't anything small or simple. Truthfully, Vash can't even think of the last time he'd ever seen Nick look this scared.

It makes him want to step back from the edge. Surely he could swallow his own fear for the sake of someone else. He's so good at putting others above him, after all. This wouldn't be any different. And yet even as he tries to insist as much within his own mind, something tells him otherwise.

Compromise, then. He won't put Wolfwood through this. But he can still find answers.]

It's - it's okay, Nick. [He squeezes that hand as careful as he can.]

I'll go talk to Zazie. I can get the truth from them. I just... wanted to see you first.

[Does it hurt that Wolfwood would continue to hide this from him? Maybe. But he can't blame him, either.]

[lupusxylem]

[It's not okay, he wants to snap back, but he doesn't. He bites his tongue because he's trying so hard to do what he feels is right, until Vash says that.

Then it snaps. He forgets his therapy.

Though he doesn't let Vash's hand go (they're kindof holding on too tightly for that to be easy right now), he does suddenly sit up, unable to keep laying down now that the conversation has taken this kind of turn. His fear and trepidation has a funny way of melting immediately into anger once he has something to funnel it into, and right now it's Zazie.

If that bug were here right now, he'd kill them. He'd find and squash every last god damn bug until they went extinct.

Instead, he struggles. He fights to control his voice as it trembles on his words when he speaks.]

Don't you fucking. Dare. If you're gonna go ask them anyway, then I'd rather you hear it from me.

[He knows Zazie would be stupid about it. Wouldn't offer it the proper care it needed. Not that Wolfwood thinks HE can do much better, but at least he isn't going to just be like "lol tee hee your brother's dead you both blew up a city and killed thousands lmao"

Fucker. Mother fucker.]

[oleaeuropaea]

[Wolfwood really deserves praise for how long he's held out. Even Vash, shaken up as he is, has to (distantly) admire how much restraint he has. He an see the anger in his form, hear it in the quaver of his voice. If he were in better shape, maybe Vash might have praised him. Unfortunately, he has worse things to grapple with.

Like Wolfwood, Vash sits up. Once he's steady, he leans forward. He almost can't find it in himself to breathe. Each inhale makes the coil of fear within his gut tighten that little bit more, while his head spins almost fast enough to knock Vash back onto his ass. Yet still, he waits, desperate to hear what Nick has to say.

If he needs a little encouragement - ]

Then, please... Please tell me. [He swallows. Those stupid bug eyes of his burn.] I'm sorry. But I need to know.

[lupusxylem]

[Wolfwood no doubt looks as distraught as he feels right now, because as hard as he's trying to keep his emotions behind a mask of distant coldness, he can't exactly do that anymore now that Vash is his partner. He doesn't have that same level of disconnect that he once did, when Vash was just a means to an end. The guy he needed to get to so that he could keep the orphanage safe.

He means everything to him now, and knowing that he's going to be the one to tear him down to the foundation again is the cruelest thing he can imagine.

But he knows Vash would hate him more if he didn't. So...he really has no choice.]

You make it to JuLai. You and Nai...fight, there. And destroy the city.

You both went missin'.

[Zazie specifically said they "think Nai is dead" but he isn't saying that, Zazie can blab about how they can't ~sense~ him or whatever. He isn't going to get into those weeds because he doesn't have to, this is bad enough as it is.]

Are you fuckin' happy now, Vash?

[That part...slips out, and is nasty and raw and thick with emotion, but he never wanted to have to say it to begin with. He just hopes Vash is prepared to deal with that.]

[oleaeuropaea]

[It is, on so many levels, worse than he could have imagined. It's a failure on so many levels. He couldn't convince his brother to back down. A whole city was left destroyed in his wake. Jeneora Rock had been bad enough, but this reality? Millions called JuLai home.

He can't believe it. He can't.]

No. No, no. They're lying -

[And yet even with just a handful of words, the truth feels so obvious. Of course he and Nai would fight. Even here, his brother had clung steadfast to those beliefs, no matter how desperately Vash had begged him to stand down. And how many times had cities been damaged just because Vash was in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Maybe Wolfwood is lucky, in that Vash doesn't really process what he says. The downside is that Vash finally, finally seems to pull away. He lets go of Wolfwood's hand, trying to draw back into himself. The upper set of hands draw into his hair, nails pressing into his scalp enough to sting. The other pair, if allowed, will twine around themselves.]

They got out, right? They evacuated the city? They wouldn't just - seeing people like us fight, they'd run. The Military Police would round everyone up and - and -

[Where would they go? Would they have time? Or would Nai cut them all down without mercy.]

[lupusxylem]

How should I know!?

[He cannot take much more. He's glad that Vash pulled away because he fears he would have actually broken his knuckles with how hard he was holding his hand at that point. It's Wolfwood's turn to draw away, shucking a hand fast through his hair as he looks away, unable to look at the brokenly devastated expression on Vash's face that he just knew he would have.]

I told you, I told you but you won't listen, you never fuckin'-

[His voice snaps on the last word, breaking off into silence like he's ready to scream himself hoarse but something is managing to hold him back (it's the therapy, and also the fact these cabanas aren't soundproof, people will hear him if he starts screaming at Vash now).]

I don't know what happened. That's just what Zazie told me. Because they're a piece of god damn horse shit.

[And even he, truly, does not mean that deep down. He's just so livid, so upset that he has to direct it somewhere other than Vash. Because as hard as it might be to believe, Wolfwood doesn't want to believe this could truly be the outcome of their world either.

It sounds like the end. Like it could truly just be the beginning of total societal collapse, if this is left to continue completely unchecked. And then...

There's no reason for anything. There's no people left to protect. No world left to save.

But he could have lived with that knowledge alone for the rest of his life, if he had to. He would have.]